The new generation of #WomenWhoDare are those who refuse to conform. They dare to do the impossible, encouraging young visionaries to break—not just push—boundaries, inspiring people worldwide to fight for what they believe in. Here, model and activist Ebonee Davis joins our 2017 Women Who Dare series with a powerful essay.
As my 25th birthday approaches, I think back on how far I’ve come. Born to drug addict parents in Seattle, Washington, who struggled for most of my life to make ends meet, I experienced trauma from a young age that had lasting effects into my adulthood. The most significant was on my relationships; not only how I related to others, but how I related to myself. I spent years in denial of my past, running away from my shadow, imprisoned by shame and afraid of the consequences of others finding out about my history.
What I now know, is that my history is far greater than my experiences growing up and that those experiences were preparation for my greatness. Suffering was the catalyst for my evolution and without it, I may have continued repeating the same cycles of dysfunction I witnessed as a child.
Seeing my parents struggle pushed me to live beyond the status quo. Instead of living out my life as a product of my environment, I decided it was my job to break the chains of poverty, addiction and abuse; to rewrite my family history and live according to my own narrative.
When I look back on my time in fashion, I realize that if it were not for my mistreatment as a Black model, I would not have the platform to inspire other young women of color to be their authentic selves, and to love themselves despite living in a society that constantly reaffirms our inadequacy.
When I moved to New York at 19, I was told there was no room for me on the boards of multiple modeling agencies because they already had a girl with my “look”. The reality was, most agencies didn’t want to represent more than a handful of Black models. Often, I would show up on set and have my face painted grey by makeup artists who didn’t know how to work on brown skin. And last year, when I decided to stop straightening my hair and stop wearing extensions, I was told by agents that I wouldn’t find work if I embraced my natural texture and would lose the clients I already had. But I refused to let them have the final say. I took a risk, followed my intuition and continued to rock my curls. Since then, I've booked several global campaigns, from Calvin Klein to GAP, and signed with a new agency that fully supports my stance on the importance of representation in media.
In my personal life, specifically in dealing with friends and lovers, it was toxic relationships that pushed me toward better ones. At 18, I stayed with a man who spat on me, put hands on me, and cheated on me. At 25, I understand that behavior is intolerable because I know my worth. I am precious. My body is precious, my mind is precious and I know that no matter where I come from or what I’ve been through, I deserve to be treated with respect. The toxic relationships were only mirrors of me and the treatment I believed I deserved. They showed me who I did not want to be and that if I wanted better, I had to adjust my behavior and hold myself accountable for the spaces I occupied and the people I surrounded myself with.
My suffering has been the change agent that propelled me toward my destiny. I’ve come to understand that when it’s time to grow, everything becomes uncomfortable, but the pain is there to redirect us toward our purpose. My purpose is to set myself, my family and many others, free from the patriarchal white supremacist social paradigm that has rendered us inferior, placed Black women at the bottom of the pyramid, and kept us stuck in cycles of disunity.
It’s the role of each generation to become a little more free, to secure a piece of freedom that wasn’t available to our ancestors and previous generations. It is absolutely necessary to recognize those who came before us, those who made way for us. Because of them we are able to build our own dreams and overcome every obstacle placed in our way—physical, sociological and mental.
For my enslaved ancestors like Nat Turner and Harriet Tubman, it was a matter of throwing off the chains that kept them bound to plantations and rebelling against the unspeakable mistreatment of those who were abducted from the Motherland and forced into bondage. For my ancestors who started and sustained the Civil Rights Movement like Martin Luther King, is was a matter of securing civil liberties and ending the reign of terror and violence that Black people faced post Jim Crow. For my Black Panther ancestors like Huey P. Newton and Bobby Seale, it was a matter of creating programs that fed the youth, healed the Black community and taught us how to protect ourselves against police brutality.
Specific to my industry, it was pioneers like Bethann Hardison, Donyale Luna, Pat Cleveland, Grace Jones and Iman in the '60s and '70s who paved the way for the next generation of Black models such as Veronica Webb, Naomi Campbell and Tyra Banks. Each of these women played a critical role in the evolution of fashion as well as the evolution of our society by defying traditional Eurocentric beauty standards and creating space for others to do the same. Had it not been for the Black women in my industry who came before me, I would not be all that I am today.
My history didn’t start in November, 1992. It didn’t even start in my mother's womb. My history dates back to Ancient Mesopotamia on the banks of the Tigris and Euphrates. It’s in the pyramids of Egypt, the Great Horn to the East and Cape Coast to the West. My history is in the cotton fields of the South and jazz clubs of the North. I am the sum of my ancestor's prayers. Embedded within me is the DNA, experience and knowledge of every one of my ancestors who came before me: warriors, scholars, poets, philosophers, musicians, Kings and Queens. It is their legacy that I carry with me as I navigate through life and create my own. Their contributions to our cultural evolution, and the sacrifices they made to create a life for themselves and others beyond the circumstances they were born into, is the reason I am able to experience the limitlessness of my potential.
There is a great deal of suffering happing across the planet right now as it goes through its own evolution. But it is the darkness that causes us to seek out the light. To some, the dysfunction and chaos may indicate otherwise, but to those who understand the cyclical nature of life, it makes perfect sense. Just as the caterpillar is trapped in the darkness of its cocoon before emerging as a butterfly, destruction will always precede growth. The old paradigm rooted in hate, fear, guilt and shame is being eradicated so that a new one rooted in love and compassion can be ushered in. What a time to be alive.
The greatest form of activism is to be a living example of the type of people you'd like to walk the earth with. The (r)evolution starts with self. You are responsible for creating what you want to see.
So walk in your truth and be a role model for those who don't believe it’s safe to walk in theirs. Lead the way and be a light in the darkness. Understand that your personal evolution and growth adds to the collective planetary evolution and should be your number one priority. Things always get worse before they get better, but they will get better. Stay fearless, let go of what no longer serves you, keep choosing love and keep striving to reach your goals. Be the one who breaks the cycle of dysfunction and defies every limitation. Honor the sacrifices of your ancestors, and be the answer to their prayers. I’m counting on you to follow your dreams.
