I was raised by a formidable woman, my grandmother, Gogo, who stood only five feet two inches tall. Yet, despite her petite frame, she exuded an immense strength and courage that made her a true force of nature. Gogo was a freedom fighter, part of a generation of women who bravely battled to liberate Zimbabwe from colonial oppression. Among the countless lessons she imparted, one has remained with me forever: “Don’t let your suffering go to waste.”
As a child, I often found these words perplexing, struggling to understand how Gogo could see any positives in suffering. Yet now, in light of the alarming regression of women’s rights and the relentless challenges that women and girls endure worldwide — from the undermining of reproductive rights in the US to the pervasive threat of gender-based violence in the UK and beyond — Gogo’s insights resonate more powerfully than ever, striking a chord deep within my heart.
This weekend, we honour International Women’s Day, with so many of us bearing the pain of ongoing discrimination against women and girls. We recognise our worth and understand that we deserve far more. We deserve the autonomy to make choices about our own bodies. We deserve the freedom to chase our dreams and live without fear or judgment. We deserve equality. Yet, to achieve what is rightfully ours, we face a critical choice: we can dwell in our pain or embrace Gogo's wisdom, transforming our collective suffering into a powerful catalyst for strength and action. I urge us all to choose the latter path.
What does it truly mean to “…not let our suffering go to waste”? Society often teaches us to view suffering as something inherently negative, a burden to be avoided at all costs. While this notion is understandable, it neglects a crucial truth: suffering is an integral part of the human experience. When we avoid confronting our pain, it can snowball into anxiety or depression, inadvertently causing greater harm to ourselves and those we care about. On the other hand, embracing our suffering can be a powerful catalyst for growth. Throughout history, some of humanity’s greatest achievements have emerged from immense suffering and overcoming daunting obstacles. It is during these challenging times that we unlock our potential for personal growth. Facing adversity reveals our inner strength and cultivates our resilience, empowering us to conquer the challenges life throws our way.
Gogo’s wisdom reflects this deeper understanding, offering us a transformative lens on suffering that challenges conventional thinking. In the face of the significant challenges we currently face, we must remain steadfast in our pursuit of an equitable world. We must harness the deep frustration stemming from our struggles, and use it to ignite our resolve for the change we envision. Now, more than ever, it’s time to embrace our voices as our greatest asset in advocating for ourselves. We cannot reshape oppressive workplace policies without voicing our grievances clearly and confidently. We cannot foster genuine connections with our partners without articulating our boundaries. Our rights will remain unprotected unless we boldly assert our needs and desires.
If you, like most of us, believe that we ‘deserve’ to live in a more equitable world, you must consider your individual role in making this vision a reality. Fundamentally, the term ‘deserve’ is not passive; it’s an action-oriented word. The dictionary defines ‘deserve’ as having done something or possessing qualities that merit reward or punishment. This highlights an important truth: ‘deserve’ calls for action. To secure the equal treatment you rightfully seek, you must be prepared to take bold steps, just as past generations did; their relentless dedication forged the rights we now cherish.
This may seem unfair, but life often isn’t fair. Achieving anything meaningful demands effort and determination, and the same holds true for gender equality. If we aspire to overcome our challenges, then we must actively strive for change ourselves — no one else can do this for us. Rather than surrendering to feelings of despair or wallowing in self-pity, we should seize our power and lend our voices to champion the rights and respect we rightfully deserve.
History shows us that true heroes — like my Gogo and other courageous individuals among us — have ushered in societal change not in spite of their struggles but because of them. Today, we face a similar call to action: to be the heroes for our generation by advocating for meaningful positive change. By recognising and constructively processing our pain, we can channel it into a powerful catalyst for extraordinary outcomes. As we confront this year's inevitable challenges, let Gogo’s poignant reminder, “Don’t let your suffering go to waste,” serve as a beacon of hope. May these words ignite your determination to turn your hardships into meaningful action and create a more gender-equal world that will benefit us all.
Elizabeth Nyamayaro is a former United Nations senior advisor, a prominent gender expert, and the author of I Am a Girl from Africa and Human Skills: The Power to Connect with Anyone and Navigate Workplace Differences, a new book that offers practical insights for fostering meaningful connections and navigating workplace dynamics. Elizabeth is also the founder of United Nations HeForShe, one of the world’s largest solidarity movements for gender equality. Follow Elizabeth on X, Instagram and LinkedIn.
