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Comforting books about grief to read now
You'll laugh, cry and feel understood – these recommendations will help with bereavement of any kind
We all know the power of a good book or television show – especially when it can resonate with how you truly feel on the inside, and help you to articulate particularly difficult feelings. Since my father died a decade ago, I've spent much of my time reading and talking about grief as a form of comfort. Seeing my feelings represented on screen or on a page is like being given a warm, reassuring hug that tells me I'm not alone in my struggle, and that it's okay not to be okay sometimes (as cliché as that sounds).
When I read Freya Bromley's The Tidal Year on a flight – a good friend had kindly gifted it to me for my birthday – I found myself blinking back tears. In it, Bromley explains how she uses her love of wild water swimming to deal with the death of her brother, touring every tidal pool throughout the UK with her best friend. I found myself smiling with each chapter, remembering fond memories of my own Dad in the different locations Bromley visits, such as Cornwall and the Gower in Wales, as well as new memories I've made in my life without him, in Margate and London.
I've reread a particular paragraph of Bromley's book over and over again: "A new flat was a home Tom would never see. A new boyfriend was a man he'd never meet. A birthday was a year he wouldn't touch. They became less of a linear progression in age, but represented moving further away from Tom; an estrangement that spanned the years between knowing him and not. I counted my birthdays not in years I'd lived, but years I'd lived without him. I moonwalked into that space."
Bromley's The Tidal Year is by no means the only book that has given me comfort over the years. Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking made me realise I don't need to be ashamed of my grief; Brianna Pastor's Good Grief poetry is great for poignant reminders; and You Are Not Alone by Cariad Lloyd had me both laughing and crying hysterically. And, of course, Julia Samuel encapsulates how many of life's greatest lessons can come from death in Grief Works.
These are the books I've found most helpful. I hope you do too, whether you're buying for yourself or gifting to someone else who needs it most.
The most comforting books about grief to buy now
Freya Bromley's powerful memoir The Tidal Year is all about her love for wild swimming, and how she's used it to process her grief. Four years after the death of her brother, Tom, she writes about her exploration of grief in the modern age; of loss, love, female rage and sisterhood. Bromley's book reminded me that good friends truly get you through the hard times, as she embarks on a tour of the UK's tidal pools with her best friend, aiming to swim in every single one within the year.
Joan Didion – one of America's most iconic writers – opens up page by page about her experience of coping with the sudden death of her husband and the tragic illness of her daughter in this classic and powerful read. Her memoir is an honest, no-filter reflection on grief and a raw insight into the reality of losing someone and having your safety nets ripped from under you.
For many, poetry can provide a lot of comfort when going through trauma, loss and struggling with self-worth. Brianna Pastor touches on all of these subjects in this expanded collection of over 40 new poems, writing with such care and reminding us that beautiful things can come from painful experiences. For anyone who has wrestled with questions of identity or coped with serious emotional issues, this book might just help you find hope on the other side.
Cariad Lloyd – the comedian and host of the popular Griefcast podcast – reflects in this 'grief road map' on her own father's death when she was just 15 years old. Having turned to the Five Stages of Grief model for guidance, she found its framework hard to reconcile with her messy and non-linear experience of loss. Here, she talks about where she processes her grief and the changing attitudes to death, approaching grief with a light touch which is delightfully refreshing.
Julia Samuel, a grief psychotherapist, has spent twenty-five years working with the bereaved and understanding the full repercussions of loss. In Grief Works, she collates stories from those who have survived great love and loss, and explores how both reveal our innermost selves. Samuel also shares her psychological insights into how grief (if moved through correctly) can actually heal us over time. An open and honest conversation around death that many will find immeasurably helpful.
